Finding out that what I had been told – “rape is about violence, not about sex” – was only partially true last week in class really fucked up my head.

Ends up that, yes, it is about violence – for the victim.

For the perpetrator it’s about sex.

…and somehow that makes it seem even more wrong.

Was I naive to think that the first statement was true?

Learning new things isn’t always fun and games, but it sure does make you think.

9 thoughts on “

    • IMO, Control and power. Only marginally about sex. Now, why it is that males are mainly the perps vs. the low rate of female perps is a debate for some time when I’m not quite so exhausted.

      • I’d bet anatomy makes up about 80% of that difference.

        Aggression is somewhat difficult when your naughty bits are mostly internal.

  1. No, you’re not naive, and I’m not convinced that the first statement is incorrect. By my understanding, violence (and the desire to subjugate another) is the driving motivation, and sex is the weapon.

    What argument was given that convinced you that you were wrong?

    • lots of stats..

      There was a study done of 114 convicted rapists by someone with the last name of Scully.

      • 83% of those convicted felt that they had not committed rape.
      • Almost half were married or cohabited (almost all the rest were dating) : not wanting for sex (we assume).
      • Many abused their SOs.
      • The 17% were admitters: said that although they had committed rape, it wasn’t “like them” The three reasons they gave:
        1. their own use of alcohol or drugs
        2. emotional problems
        3. nice guy image
      • The majority were Deniers, admitted to having sex but not committing rape. The reasons they gave:
        1. women as seductresses
        2. women say ‘no’ when they mean ‘yes’
        3. most women eventually relax and enjoy it
        4. nice girls don’t get raped
        5. only a minor wrong doing
      • Low Risk, High Reward Crime
      • What do Men Gain from Rape?
        1. reventge and punishment (angry with another woman)
        2. added bonus, job perk (breaking and entering, find a woman. 39% of those in the study had been committing another crime at the time of the rape)
        3. sexual access to women they would otherwise not have access to
        4. a form of impersonal sex
        5. recreation and adventure (just do it for the kicks; like gang rape)
        6. feeling good / ego boost

      I can find the study on JSTOR if you’d like… it makes me nauseous.

  2. I’m pretty sure that every generalization meant to describe every case of a broad class of human activity falls down in the marginal cases. (Probably including this one.) The only thing common to absolutely every case of rape is, well, rapiness.

  3. Nice guy image… that’s new to me. I can’t imagine the guy who’s like “Yeah, everyone thinks I’m this swell guy… I think I’m going to forcibly dick someone. That will learn them all. And treat me like a normal human being. *weep*

  4. Bullshit. The perpetrator only thinks it’s about sex.
    It’s actually about violence for everyone. Abuse is
    abuse is abuse, regardless of what the perpetrator
    thinks.

    If I started engaging in sexual activity with another
    person, that person says stop, and I continue, it’s
    abuse. It’s me abusing the other person to gratify
    myself.

    I mean, it’s a matter of calling a spade a spade. If I
    paint a house and call it art, it doesn’t change the
    fact that I’m painting a house. Intent and the truth
    are not always aligned.

    If I paint a house and my intention is that it is art,
    that doesn’t change the fact that I have to paint the
    house in order to make that happen.

    If I rape a woman and my intention is to have sex with
    her, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m raping her
    to do it. Rape is abuse/violence. A spade is a spade.

    The only time intentions come into play is if the
    rapist is mentally incapable of knowing the difference
    between sex and rape, but even then the individual is
    removed from society.

    The act of rape is obtaining sexual gratification
    through force, coersion, or otherwise against the will
    of the victim. It’s all about violence because the
    rapist is either unable or unwilling to obtain sex
    through the socially acceptable (or at least
    non-violent, say going to a prostitute) means.

    And that makes it more wrong, because if it were truly
    about sex for the rapist, he’d find another way.

    C.

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