FREE HUGS

At the Remedy Tea Transhumanism meeting awhile back, I think we were talking about life extension, Baron wore his “FREE HUGS” shirt. Libby promptly got hopped up on caffeine, started giggling madly, and asked if Hugs was his boyfriend in prison.

AND SO THE FREE HUGS DEBATE WAS BORN.

Is Hugs innocent? Does the punishment suit the crime? What is he even in there for, anyway? YOU DECIDE

25 thoughts on “FREE HUGS

  1. Actually, Hugs got married this past weekend, so … draw your own conclusion there. 🙂

    (My friend John’s nickname is HugMe and we call him Hugs for short)

  2. As a victim of Hugs’s random acts of cannibalistic violence, I can only proffer my ever so humble opinion that the bastard should fry for his corporeal violations. My left leg stump will never be the same.

    NO MERCY FOR HUGS.

    • The defense would argue that by having your left foot on the table next to a tasty vegan cake which you had just removed from the oven (which also happened to be in the shape of a foot), Hugs cannot be held accountable for his actions.

      • Until Hugs is evaluated for his ability (or lack thereof) to distinguish between a tasty animal-product-free baked good and my fleshy appendage, I remain unconvinced.

        My opinion is further cemented by the decision by Hugs to stop midway through his mastication of my extremity to apply a generous slathering of barbecue sauce. The prosecution displays a notable lack of amusement.

        • Did Hugs eat the cake as well? Would he have been able to tell the difference between your amazingly tasty cake and your *ahem* amazingly tasty flesh? Did you use Hu-Fu in the cake? This may have confused him.

        • Dubious logic at best.

          He sampled the cake, but found the lack of human flesh unappealing after such a sumptuous meal of my calf and foot.

          His cold and calculating manner rules out a crime of passion. One can only deduce that Hugs needs a muzzle. Stat.

        • Well, if I’m going to gag you, I kind of have to, don’t I?

          Because you really are Hugs. And you’re autofagilic. Word of the day!

        • and actually, I’m sorry, that should be “autosarcophagy,” as it would be an active rather than an automatic eating of flesh. Apologies.

  3. I regret that I cannot even think about Hug’s imprisonment until the Booze is lawfully released as a social prisoner.

    Free Booze THEN Free Hugs.

    • You state, good sir, that Booze is more important to society’s well-being than Hugs. I would argue that Hugs should come before Booze, and that any assumption otherwise is an indicator of our current social woes.

      • I only posit that this War on Hugs is an issue that is too ingrained in our society to be solved by releasing Hugs alone. The effect of Booze’s release upon society will facilitate the freedom of Hugs.

      • in my own personal research I have come to the conclusion that the “Free Booze” campaign will inevitably lead to us straight to the Freeing of Hugs… left and right

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