I want a gavel and a powdered wig

Points of Order:

  • I’d like to see the game the Bible is *actually* the guidebook for. Also, more people need to roll for initiative with d20s.
  • taking breaks from logic puzzles (LSAT studying) to read Cryptonomicon or learn more Java is putting my communication skills down the toilet.
  • I don’t think I care
  • on a related note, I’m tempted (not really) to get LOGIC4LIFE tattoo’d on my knuckles (with the C and 4 on my thumbnails, which is funny in and of itself). I might just go for sharpie after work. Because that’s how I roll
  • I really like making flow charts
  • while walking home from the Imperative Reaction concert last night, I was gifted a bottle of ’05 Riesling from a friend I haven’t bumped into for awhile. WTF.
  • I desire Katamari.
  • new pick-up line: “if I were to ask you for sex, would your response be the same as to this question?”

I know I said I had my Self back, but it seems to have pushed my brain out of whack. Play nice, guys. Really.

Later today I will show you the fruits of my labor in regards to flow charts. And I believe you will giggle. I know I am.

42 thoughts on “I want a gavel and a powdered wig

  1. -I don’t think learning Java will hurt your LSATs – a CS friend of mine took them and got a scholarship despite not studying. Programming IS logic.

    -Is that Godel’s Pick-Up?

    • -I don’t think it’ll hurt my scores, I’m just so into a similar structure of brain patterns throughout the day that I’m neglecting social norms.

      -Did Godel get laid often?

  2. Obviously your only option is to draw a flow-chart describing the possible paths through your bible game.

    Also: anyone who’ll bang based on a logical trap is, in fairness, someone who would’ve banged with you anyway.

    • They would have banged me anyway because of my awesome geekiness or because they’d be a complete whore to fall for a line like that?

      …or both?

        • You have obviously underestimated my geek levels. I am known for ruining potentially hot moments. Mostly because I insist on repeatedly telling the stories about such times because they make me laugh so hard.

        • “Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something? I was too busy staring at your boobs to notice. So, um… wanna come home and see my stamp collection? It’s entirely unlicked!”

        • < explosion of hormonal excitement at the implied possibilities mixed with terrified concern for the sanctity of the stamp collection >

        • I want my new nickname to be “stamp desiccator”

          My current nickname is FuckSnacks, for what is too long of an explanation.

        • Hmmm… no.

          But I WILL call you Postage Violation if you explain to me how you got the other nickname.

        • Oops, that’s what I get for using my roommates computer. Forgot to log in first. < grumble >< grumble >

        • Every Transhumanist Discussion Group I run the Apocalypse comes up at some point. To which, while talking to the SteamPunks (actual DIY types), the answer basically had a direct corralation to availability to snacks.

          “Are we fucked?”
          “Well… do we have snacks?”
          “Yes.”
          “Then we’re not fucked.”

          Or,

          “No.”
          “Then we’re fucked.”

          AND SO FUCKSNACKS WAS BORN.

          I think there may have also been some tequila and Conan the Barbarian involved. The evening is a bit fuzzy.

        • Re: “Yes, if and only if the Riemann Zeta function has a nontrivial zero.”

          I, um, hi. Hello.

        • (If you can restate the original pickup line as a Quine I will go home with you right now)

          Awestruck by my sexy math?

          …Happens to me all the time.

        • If you want to go home with me, you must want to have sex, but I never have sex in my own home. (?)

          To steal Matt’s ():

          Are you a differentiable equation?

          ..Because I’d like to be tangent to your curves!

        • I never said whose home.

          I was gonna make a polynomial joke, wherein you’re invited to try the Power Rule.

          But the truth is I’m not differentiable, because I have no limits.

        • Re: (If you can restate the original pickup line as a Quine I will go home with you right now)

          “if used in context, as a Quine, is sure to get you into my pants”.

          That’s feels like the trivial solution, though. Where’s the art…ah.

          “has no business being in my head (or on it), but you might…”

          Perhaps “will come again, but in a different manner…as will you”?

          I suppose the most accurate translation of the original, though, would be “yields falsehood, or you coming home with me when proceeded by its quotation”.

        • Re: (If you can restate the original pickup line as a Quine I will go home with you right now)

          Here’s what I came up with.

          If I asked you for sex, would you answer in the same fashion as you would answer a question constructed by replacing the second appearance of the word BANANA in the phrase

          “If I asked you for sex, would you answer in the same fashion as you would answer a question constructed by replacing the second appearance of the word BANANA in the phrase BANANA with a copy of the quoted phrase?”

          with a copy of the quoted phrase?

          …I think.

        • Re: (If you can restate the original pickup line as a Quine I will go home with you right now)

          Can’t you just feel the laws of propositional logic forcing your pants off?

        • Re: (If you can restate the original pickup line as a Quine I will go home with you right now)

          note to self: build time machine. tell younger self, “if you think the speech team is dirty, try the math team”

          I had already figured out the tech kids. oh yes.

  3. public String hi=”Hey there!”;

    I once attempted to make that game. Turns out, it’s just dumb.

    You should totally read Anathem if you want to ruin your brain-world interface. Cryptonomicon isn’t nearly dangerous enough.

  4. – Jesus saves, the rest of you take 4d6 damage.

    – I think I should get PATHOS4EVAH on my knuckles and we should bare box to determine the outcome.

    -I think that pickup line requires a flow chart. And I plead the fifth.

  5. The only problem with Bible the RPG(tm) is that it would require me to stop believing in Game Masters, and that could be a problem. (Even worse, I could start playing religion like Paranoia, ooooh…)

    And yet another brilliant pick-up line. I did double-check it to make sure that the logic was correct, and then truly grinned.

  6. “if I were to ask you for sex, would your response be the same as to this question?”

    NOW I get it. I must have been too busy looking at karate-guy last night, because this went completely over my head. I think James’, too.

    • But you did get “9 out of 10 people enjoy gang-rape” on the first go, if I remember correctly, so that earns you points.

    • Re: Epimenides tries that one on a Buddhist at the local bathhouse

      at least when you go to bed alone, you know you’re sleeping with someone you like?

        • Re: Epimenides tries that one on a Buddhist at the local bathhouse

          Someone got to Epimenides and the “mu” answer (which is almost what I txt’d you back, Willow) before me. I am rightly impressed.

    • *shakes fist*

      NO ONE “MAYBE”s ME!, DAMNIT! I demand clearly defined binaries.

      What was the quote from H2G2 about the philosophers demanding clearly defined areas of vagueness and theory? Something like that? You know what I mean.

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