reflections

So now that I’ve tried this… new thing, and it’s out of my system, finally, completely, I have to look at things logically.

I don’t want this to take over my life.

It’s a good… um… that doesn’t do it justice… well, it’s a feeling of ecstacy, really. For a decent amount of time when looking at the short-term view. Some studies say that I’ll be brain dead in two minutes and others say it might even help me in some weird way. So what do I do?
I know I want to do it again. But I don’t want it to take over my life, as said before. Do I give myself a deadline? Quit by a certain date? Or a certain number of experiences? Or do I just quit when I think it’s the right time? So much to think about.

Also… Justin and I were talking. I’m dating again. Yahoo! I think. The logical part of my brian had to be tied down and tip-toed around to avoid setting off the “don’t be a dumbass willow, both of you will get hurt and it’ll never work and don’t you remember…” alarms. Right now the rest of my mind, body, and other mushy parts are trying to persuade it to shut up and cooperate so I can function normally again.
I love being single. But I don’t want other boys, I want him. This sucks. I hate you, mind. I hate you, body. Figure out what you want and then get back to me.

Maybe life would be easier if I were a vegtitable. I’d sort of like to be a fruit though. Ha ha ha. Dumb joke.

I’m sick too. Poo on you body. Why isn’t anything working? And why am I enjoying this state so much?

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