Nearly everything I do is for the Collective. I am pre-disposed to it. I was raised to it. And after a lifetime of reflection, I remain committed to it. “They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”
This one I simply feel in my bones. It’s on my right forearm because I am right handed, and this sentiment fuels my interactions with the world. No further pontification.
I’m so grateful to Santa for making it beautiful. She melted some transfer paper in water, splattered me with the water, and then meticulously tattooed each spatter mark.
When I had some cognitive space back in 2022, I ran through some diagnoses intakes with my psychiatrist. We decided not to review for autism because the test is time consuming and there isn’t really anything you can do with the results. For the OCD intake I was like “of course I do these things, any rational person behaves this way,” (no, they do not). For the ADHD intake I was like “I do not have trouble activating to do things or focusing on them once I’m doing them, so this isn’t me; EXCEPT for when I’m on my period, in which case absolutely yes.”
Then I went on testosterone and things got a little more gnarly. If you do a search for this, you’ll see that hormones (estrogen in particular) and ADHD have some interesting correlations that may in fact be causation. Some tendencies I’d always had got more extreme.
So I’ve just signed to start in mid-December as the manager of the AppSec team at a well-known platform. I’m REALLY excited for this for many reasons I’ll get into after I’ve actually started and it feels real. I’m really excited to be able to talk about this part of my life again.
I’ll do a separate post about how I structured my consulting because that’s it own fun setup, but I wanted to take a moment here to talk about how grueling the job hunt is right now and to offer some scaffolding, because being intentional about things is how I stay sane when in a chaotic situation.
This is long because I have a lot to say on keeping track, experiments in approach, and what actually worked this time.
Security hardening, including implementation work (know what needs doing but don’t have capacity to get it done? I will get it over the finish line)
Tool implementation and training (think a tool would help your business but not sure how to set it up? I will get it set up based on your specifications and then train you)
Organizational theory and scaling guidance (nerd out about which practices make sense, when)
So far, I’ve helped a network org transfer fully out of the Google ecosystem to Proton, Tresorit, and AirTable. I’ve gotten a technophobic ED of a different org onto a password manager, ending an existential threat to the funding organization. I’ve helped a lawyer automate a lot of her data entry with Clio so she can focus on clients. I’ve nerded out with the ED of another nonprofit about how to scale his organization as he moves from his most recent successful phase into 10x growth of participation. Next up I’m helping implement a retention & deletion policy for two different orgs. Plus a bunch of other stuff! Fun!
But how am I doing, financially, with all these moving pieces? I created two pieces to help me track things: a projection of contracting load, and a projection of overall expenses and financial sources.
For the contracting load, I used AirTable because of how much cross referencing and automation it allowed me to do. This is where I keep track of clients, contracts, expenses, and income. It even has how I’m doing against goals, and has projections for income out into the future. It’s fabulous and I’ll show a templatized version to you if you ask.
for the overall financial health, I used Google Sheets because I want to use formulas in some cells until I adjust them for actuals. I estimated monthly spend based on known shared account contributions and historical numbers for each month based on how I tend to live life. I then listed out sources of money — unemployment when I don’t have contract work, contract work, savings of various sorts. I then anticipate burndown rate on each source of money based on projected expenses, and when I’ll start pulling from a different source as needed.
These were SO MUCH FUN to build, AND it gives me a sense of predictability and stability in uncertain times. I now have more confidence that I can keep myself and my family afloat, and have more ease in having a good time on occasion because I know where I’m at with the numbers.
Priceless was founded as an anticapitalist event. I’m not sure how it worked for the original False Profit crew, but for our Priceless Planners crew, and ongoing discussion has been about wealth disparity within the Planner community. The vibe has been that while we question capitalism, many of us are also doing well enough under capitalism that it’s primarily a theoretical discussion with well thought out experiments in how to HOST an event for others that’s anticapitalist. We set out to change that last year by taking on a radical experiment of moving from volunteer-only organizing (we do pay our food vendor, medical staff, and security staff; along with paying artists and musicians to help us host our event) to paying a couple roles. This is how that went, and what comes next.
June through July were INTENSE for me. Getting Priceless was a lot of intensity without a lot of partying (it was still a wonderful time, and also I need a little more play in my work:play ratio). I’ve been looking for work and contracting. And then in August, the family vacation we were meant to take for 2 weeks (a luxury provided by Reed’s family, that we’re forever grateful for) ended up seeming to turn into 10 days of caring for Reed and Locke while they had covid. That was supposed to be those 10 days followed by still 1 week of vacation, but then Reed bounced on his covid test after we landed and so I was on solo child duty, while also making sure Reed had food and care while sequestered in a hotel, while ALSO dealing with another family’s dynamics (some of whom thought it was a personal failing on our part that Reed was still sick despite 2 days of testing negative). So I was pretty crispy. Reed and I had a few explicit conversations about how to be kind to each other and be in cahoots because of how easy it would be to slip into sniping at each other. We did a good job, but we were both thoroughly exhausted.
And so I conspired with grandma and Yolanda (Locke’s main non-family caretaker) to cover a few days of time, and booked Reed and me two nights at a nearby hot springs. It was so good. No signal, no devices (even Kindles!) allowed in the soaking areas. Just books and hot water and naps and my honey. What a way to mainline relaxation. The only sharable picture I took was of our yurt ceiling.
There were clawfoot bathtubs that just had a constant flow of hot water running into them. There was a cute older Danish couple who seemed to be relishing getting to be naked again. There was a beautiful kitchen to make your own food in, and people came together to play music together one afternoon. Magical, A++, intend to do again.
I had an interview for a job prospect I’m really excited about early this morning. Predictably, I didn’t sleep well last night — I both had stress dreams, and my cat horked up his dinner at about 1a. I experience hypervigilence, including while I sleep, so anyone coming up or down the stairs, dealing with doors within earshot, and yes, distressed cats will wake me up. I used to be able to sleep through anything, but now: IS THE BABY ALIVE???? (Yes, he is. He is fine. He is four years old and capable of indicating when he needs help.)
That’s ok. Bad nights happen. My body still wakes up naturally at 5:30a each morning. I did a little meditation in bed and decided to try to set everyone up to succeed for their days as a way of starting my day off right. First up: find a pair of matching socks for Locke, who has run out of socks. Sunday is laundry day and I usually get the folding as well as the washing done, but yesterday involved a birthday party and other adventures, so I had two overflowing hampers of clean laundry in my room. Might as well fold while I hunt for two matching tiny pairs of socks.
About halfway into the first hamper, I’ve located two matching socks. Wonderful, and a start on folding. I toss the rolled up pair in front of Locke’s door so when he inevitably opens his door to holler downstairs in distress of not being able to find a pair, he’ll hopefully look down and we’ll all be a bit easier off.
I go downstairs to take a shower. Delightful. But when I return upstairs, there is only one lonely sock on the landing. My cat has apparently disassembled the pair, left one, and taken the other one… somewhere. Sigh.
No matter, I will make myself a cup of coffee, make Locke’s lunch, and meander around a bit while I look for it. Luckily, it’s not the worst to find, and I return the pair to in front of Locke’s door.
I take the cats outside for their morning backyard (supervised) romp. My cat attempts to take on a squirrel. My cat is 9 pounds, and this squirrel looks to be about the same. My cat refuses to come inside when called (he’s usually quite good about this) and I have to reclaim him from his “tripper trap” corner where he’s convinced squirrels spawn from and he must be Ever Vigilant there.
Get the cats fed and finally sit down at my desk to prep for my morning interview. And this little shit comes in, sits down in front of my keyboard and begins yowling for aggressive pats. I have finally had enough and kick him out of the office.
I love this little empty-headed goblin so much, but jeeze.
There’s this thing that some organizational theory nerds (hi) talk about called the “rule of threes.” What it means, basically, is that every time your organization grows by x3, the way the organization operates has to change. While that blog post breaks down the numbers differently, I see one of the main inflection points as being between 50 and 150. One of my dear friends is on the board of a maker space, and they’ve recently started experiencing growing pains at the 120 mark where trust is breaking down and folks aren’t as aligned as they once were. This is a blog post about what I recommended to him based on the stage they’re at.
Institute and N+1 expectation
As the group grows, things start to slip through the cracks, and the accumulation of those things bothers some folks. Institute an N+1 rule. It goes like this:
Every time you pick up a piece of trash or wash a dish, do it for one extra.
Every time you restock a soda or filament, stock one more than seems necessary.
Every time you order for the space, order one more than you think you need.
When you’re sitting in a circle, always have one chair open for someone to join the group.
Etc. This helps deal with the slop of having a bunch of people sharing a space.
Build culture
Build a culture of
respecting each other, who you serve, and the space you use.
gently enforcing boundaries.
giving feedback on small things so feedback on big things is easier.
“deescalate with everyone but the enemy.” We are in a time of fascism, and infighting is kind of what the Left is known for.
Have a framework for course correction that visible people use, and gently encourage others to do the same.
Reiterate expectations
Set these and other specific expectations in onboarding documentation, with your People/HR team, in your Code of Conduct, and in everyday exchanges. This helps folks remember and course correct for themselves and others without it being personal.
Way back in 2014, I had some folks in my life die, and I had to help deal with their estates. It spawned the Networked Mortality project, which was me reviewing how I’d then structured my own life to make managing my digital estate easier. Ends up, there were other folks thinking about the same thing. I met Megan Yip, and we co-wrote a guide for the elderly about digital assets.
Then I got a Proper Job, and stopped spending time on it. Megan kept going, but was so overwhelmed with demand that she kept going back to focus on her law practice instead. Now that I’ve got some time, I’m helping her flesh out DigitalAssetsHelp (freshly re-launched!). We’re hoping to offer a few things: 1/ consulting services to not blow up lawyer’s fees (now); 2/ continuing legal education to lawyers getting to know this specialization (eventually); 3/ white-label guides for lawyers to use to prepare their clients (soon); and 4/ workshops for death doulas and other death workers to understand this aspect of planning (now).
For me, this is deeply personal. It is a way to take care of each other, a way to fight back against hyperindividualism, a way to stop tech companies from claiming ownership of everything, and yet one more way to prepare for catastrophe. Digital estate planning is radical on many fronts.
However, since it’s been a decade since I’ve been thinking about this deeply, I sure would love to chat with folks about what their digital asset concerns are and where we should focus first. If you’re down to nerd out with me about technology and death, please send a 15 minute invite. We know about things ranging from private messages to photo libraries to NFTs and crypto currencies.
One of the core skills as a program manager is “influence without control.” I am stellar at this, primarily because of my work in network organizations and working with volunteers. While we had a small team at Geeks Without Bounds, nearly everyone we interacted with was volunteering their time. Same goes for Digital Humanitarian Network. Priceless experimented with hiring and paying two roles this year (I developed the hiring and accountability structures), but otherwise it’s 40 opinionated, badass volunteer planners running the core event with another 150 event volunteers helping in the days of and surrounding the event. And there is zero control over volunteers, there is only influence. So here’s how I do it, as a coordinator, program manager, and manager.
This is less about communicating effectively (maybe I’ll write about that another time), and more about attitude towards people you’re working with.
