My parents tell me I travel too much. I’m too extravegant.

I think I’m looking for a place where I fit. People told me I’d fit in college. I don’t. I felt at home, once, in Canada. When everyone was there. Even though Sydney and Shazia weren’t around yet, I still made sense.

Some people help me to make sense. Madison, Corey, Randall, Seamus, Jake, Quig, Joe, Neb… Unfortuately none of these people are around. Seamus and I live in the same city now, but he’s constantly at work.

I feel like I always have to be on guard. Not of myself, I’m fine. But I have to guard other people. I have to be caretaker. I can’t relax.

I’m thinking about attending college in another state. Live there for 6 months for residency and then go. I just… I work my ass off. I want to play too.

Does coming home always leave me this indecisive?