your mom < quoi? = beef jerky

This entry is finally complete

Things are interesting. But rather than go off on tangets (I think I went over my quota this weekend), I shall just relate the Balderdash definitions to you.

Saturday night Libby, Vivian, Petra, Matt, and I drank a lot of wine, smoked a lot of Hookah, watched a lot of Bill Hicks, and played Balderdash.

For any of you who have never played it… it’s bloody fantastic.

What you do is, read off a word that few people would know the definition to (there is a stack of cards with these words and the true definitions) and everyone writes what they believe the definition is (or not). You give all your writings to the dealer, and they read off each thing. People vote on what they think is real (or just really effing funny).


The odd:
Pinchem: birth name of Meat Loaf’s first son. The man has a weird sense of humor – but he’s Bill Brasky.
Piblockto: The act of inserting a Lego into a Greek Olive
Octaroon: An eight-armed animate cookie known to destroy swampy sections of New Orleans on moonless nights
Octaroon: eight-legged racoons with laser vision and CAPES
Potoo: the alternative tuber to which one can attatch a potato clock
Antigropelos: boots that manure is unable to stick to, used for spelunking.
Antigropelos: Keeps the bitches outta yer pants
Kursaal: Affirmation specific to the Southern US, as in “Kursall sleep with you, cousin.”
Kursaal: A small Italian knapsack with superior crack-packing capacity.
Fussocking: The act of wearing a pair of socks without holes in order to cover the holes in a pair of socks with holes. A strange feeling.
Riroriro: Japanese zombie sex cult… of doom! (part II: the saga continues)
Riroriro: the Korean version of the popular Romanian dance hit “Lilolilo”
Powsowdy: What G W called peyote
Flummery: SHIT I’M HIGH
Pagophagia: The medical term for the incessant devouring of members of a different religion
Spizzerinctum: Spizzerinctum? Damn near spizzakilled him!
Spizzerinctum: ee dink ee dink, spizzerinctum dee do… I loove youuu.

The sexual:
Ascolia: Sexually transmitted butt disease with burning and itching sensations galore
Caubeen: A small swivel cannon fired out the back of a camel’s anus
Quidam: A term derived from the Latin for a device used to protect the giver of anonymous oral sex from disease
Octaroon: Kinky sex practice involving eight girl scounts. And yes, there’s cookies involved
Piblockto: When your Italian gardener-slash-sex slave gets a lego stuck up his ass and you embaressingly have to explain to the ER staff what happened
Dasyure: Into the cow’s rectum, it goes! “moo!” sez the moo cow. But in it goes anyway.
Pagophagia: The habitual abuse of pogo sticks as anal pleasure devices
Dharna: Hindu religious term for a right good ass-buggering
Fussocking: Masturbating your cat with a gym sock (this one’s for you, Libby!)
Powsowdy: Rootbeer flavored cum-shot. MMm.
Spizzerinctum: A device inserted in the anus used to prevent man-juice from acting as an enema
Pinchem: Ameteur-grade nipple clamps

And the best series:
Antigropelos: A fierce and dangerous Mexican street gang devoted to stamping out titty-grabbing.
this was funnier because I was reading “dangerous” as “indigenous”
Several rounds later, it was followed by:

Pinchem: A dangerous Mexican street gang devoted to stamping out the indigenous Antigropelos.


It’s sort of a SCUD / Homestar Runner – esq drawing, no?

All in all, a splendid time. Yes?

You can read Matt’s take on things here

Also, pictures are back from the family Christmas gathering…


The kitchen, with Seamus and Mom


Another angle of the kitchen, this time with Aunt Christie with Mom (now do you see why the short hair makes me look like her?)


On the couch in the living room, looking through a photo album with my Aunt and my Sister.


The Rumford Fireplace, completed, with Seamus’ most recent work above it.


The work.

4 thoughts on “your mom < quoi? = beef jerky

  1. I didn’t know you had a sister…weeeeeeeeeeeird. When are you coming to Chicago? Why are you coming to Chicago? Call me on the sellfone if you are coming to Chicago. Send a message if you are coming to Chicago. I know a good northwoods diner that sells a mean grizzly burger. *If you can believe that* You must have the full tour! A tour of exotic midwestern pleasures, yes? There are many hookah bars indeed.

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