note to self via text

do men tend to be more “homophobic” than women because they are not used to being seen as objects?

15 thoughts on “note to self via text

  1. No, it’s because men are, biologically speaking, supposed to be dominant and masculine, and in our culture being a “slot” rather than a “tab” is decidedly non-masculine.

    Also, where women are biologically inclined to be caring nurturers thanks to cavedwelling maternal instinct, men are biologically inclined to fucking kill shit. So it seems that a perceived attack on a man’s inherent masculinity really should only result in a violent reaction and denial in order to maintain one’s status as a fucking killer of shit rather than a nurturer.

  2. Camus described the difference between “tab” and “slot” (see prior comments) as being equivalent to the difference between subject and object.

    Ergo being dominant sexually is roughly equivalent to being existent, and being submissive is a step towards non-existence. So all sex is actually a fight for existence.

    Usually guys have a pretty good upper hand in this one; gay men do upset the balance a bit. And of course he does claim that this same principle extends beyond the bedroom into any interaction, so yes, he’d probably agree with you, and so do I.

    Are you saying chicks are just not wired to see things this way?

    PS: Not that I’m endorsing homophobia; philosophy that “feels” right is the most dangerous kind of bullshit.

    • So wait a second, it’s biologically impossible for me to fully exist as a person because I don’t have a penis? Could I potentially exist if I bought a dildo and started ass-raping people, or am I pretty much screwed from the get-go?

      • Yeah, the dildo thing would – according to this theory – work. Or just being dominant and *experiencing* the other person more than they experience you.

        So could this be a gender thing or is it just the two of us? Anyone else care to weigh in?

  3. Quite probably. Though the “We Are The Active Force” mentality also does have something to do with it, tabs and slots as described. Though obviously I think the significance socially ascribed to the tabs and slots thing is stupid.

  4. Personally I think you’d have to define homophobic first. I think that word is thrown around way too much… esp at people whose personal tastes don’t really including seeing or participating in any of those sorts of behaviors in public places … or even private places for that matter.

    It’s a lot like the term “racist” that’s often used against people who disagree with a prominent member of a minority or with popular cause that’s been attached to one of those groups (often times whether they like it or not).

    Define it concisely as in today’s society it’s way to pop culturalized into a mush concept to be discussed without having some clear lines drawn first.

    Just my two cents, but by the mush definition – hell no. Men are frequently seen as objects. Usually vending machines full of what your partner can gain from being with you which makes it hard to sort through who really cares about you and who is just clinging to you to in order to retain what they can siphon off of you.

    Both Genders have their problems even if they’re specific to each one and varied according to the generalized roles we put ourselves in.

  5. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that any one gender is more homophobic than the next. Some people are so insecure in their own world-view that they need to surround themselves with people who bolster rather than challenge that view. Could be race, could be gender, could be favorite bands, fashion, whatever. And when they are presented with an alternate view they have to put down that view – to eradicate it – so that they can feel like they are right.

    Comments like “your favorite band sux”, “boys can’t play with dolls”, and suchlike all come from that weakness. At least that’s my view.

  6. I’d say it has something to do with the way that boys and girls are socialized. There’s definitely a learned homophobia in male culture.

  7. Yes, but they are less so when they get the *squee* pleasure of being objectified themselves. There are signup forms near the concession stands, gentlemen, please pay them a visit.

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