kid in Martin’s: “I’m going into the air lock, dad!” (referring to lobby)

Mike (co-worker): “wait… are three-way light bulbs kinky?”

Dave (co-worker): “we can drink and watch this Boondock Saints of yours.”
Me: “yes. we’ll have a St. Pattie’s Day in September. Like Christmas in July, only better.”

Random customer at gas station that danced so I would open my drawer and give him change.

Another random customer that, instead of asking how my day was, said “what comes after 26?”
Me.. “Um…” (confusion) “27?”
Guy “THAT’S THE SPIRIT!”
He the told me the greatest joke EVER.

Re-reading Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“The Babel fish is small, yellow and leechlike, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe…..Now it is such a bizarrley improbably coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final clinching proof of the nonexistence of God.
The arguement goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’
‘But,’ says Man, ‘the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguements, you don’t. QED.’
‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promply vanishes in a puff of logic.'”

I love English humor.