Driving up to Mutiny last night, at 75mph on an empty road with the stars clear overhead and the windows letting in the brisk autumn air, I turned to Matt and said, “I can’t wait for a time when I won’t need obvious mechanisms to go this fast.”
I’ve always somehow equated speed with freedom.
Speed means getting things done. Speed means escape. Both things are essential to freedom (at least to me) : covering my responsibilities with the ability to not, if I don’t want to be doing them.
Because here’s the thing. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do*. I go to class because I love being in class. I work because I love to work. I see people because I love interactions and what I get from those people and what I can give to them. And so on.
Do you ever have those moments, when you’re doing something, when you realize that’s where you want to be? I mean, maybe something as cool as realizing how kick-ass Axis is, and that I helped make that happen, and that I wouldn’t be anywhere else right then. Maybe it’s just doing the dishes, or sitting on the porch with Libby, shooting the shit. And you suddenly realize how awesome life is. (Nathan, you know what I’m talking about). If there is NO chance of me doing that while I’m fulfilling a task, I probably won’t do it.**
On a somewhat related note, last night Mutiny was PACKED. To the point of discomfort for Matt and myself. So while we waited for Petra and Chris to finish shaking their booties, we went upstairs to the restaurant/bar and drew on the tables. Venn Diagrams. Intersections of [You’re Doing it Wrong], [Win], and [Club Nights] was my favorite.
The Tarot reading was right. Time of upheaval indeed. Moves are odd things.
H+ meeting on the 9th. And also a meeting for Axis sometime soon.
*with the rare exception of the potentiality of last Wednesday
**which is not to say I don’t keep obligations if it just doesn’t suit my fancy. it’s complicated.