As per people keeping in touch when moving / with people who have moved:

Those who moved around a lot as kids are bad at keeping in touch, whereas those who lived in one or just a couple places growing up are good at keeping in touch.


13 thoughts on “theory

  1. I’ve moved approximately 12+ times (so far, about 8-10 states), which would break down to once every two years. I tend to be fairly bad about keeping in touch with people once X years have passed, although honestly, Livejournal/MySpace/etc. has made it easier to keep in contact with many of those people. I try to regularly send comments/messages via that way, as it’s easy, although I find that many aren’t so good at keeping up with that form of contact.

    I would argue that once a person has moved, unless you’re incredibly close, that real life often takes precedence and that keeping in contact with those that aren’t as easily accessible falls to the way-side. Sadly.

  2. Well, I have moved around a lot. I went to seven different high schools, I have no idea how many elementary school, and even after leaving home have moved quite a great amount.

    I have always been terrible at keeping in touch. Growing up, when we moved, I never expected to see or hear from any friends that I made. It has always been a surprise when I hear from a very old friend. Even then, it is a challenge to stay in touch. I am so focused on here and now.

    The internet, again, has made staying in touch an increased convenience. Since many of us have become creatures of convenience, I would say this phenomenom will change slightly.

  3. interesting idea

    dunno. does moving back and forth between two houses count as moving around or living in just a couple places? plus, one family stayed put, the other jumped about a bit, but all in the same town.

    i’m pretty shitty at keeping in touch. or, rather, when i do keep in touch, it rarely feels like i’m doing so over any great distance. i keep in touch with you and chris, but i see you guys a lot. it’s pretty much like you live down the street, except the street in question is interstate 80.

    hmm… will ponder.

  4. I’m generally really good at keeping in touch with people. However, lately, I’ve started to give up on it because people either don’t bother calling me back, or I’m the only person who ever tries to contact them.

    However, those who do put in the effort, I’ve maintained excellent contact with for some time. My current roommate and I’ve been friends for approximately 9 years. 🙂

  5. I have a ton of opinions about this since I have a) moved around like holy hell and b) get slack (sometimes) for being bad about keeping in touch.

    When you move around a lot (especially between countries) you eventually learn that trying to keep in touch or somehow strengthen relationships via any method of communication (other than in person) basically doesn’t work. You learn that you make new friends once you move. The other thing you learn, though, is that if people are *really* your friends, they will still be there when you get back. And vice versa.

    I am terrible with keeping in touch. Terrible. But it’s mostly because I trust the people in my life to realize that it’s usually because I am unspeakably busy and (as Ashley mentioned) preoccupied with my present, real, moment-to-moment life.

    I dislike maintenance of relationships. That is to say, I dislike thinking that I have to talk to someone x number of times in any given amount of time in order to “keep” them. I have friends in DC (and all over, really) whom I *rarely* talk to. Maybe once a month, if that. Usually less frequently. But, we can still pick up as if no time had passed since our last conversation.

    So, there it is. Different people have different standards, too. I do not hold people to a standard of “if you do not contact me once a week then we have a problem or our friendship is decaying.” In turn, I don’t want to be held to any standard resembling that, because I already know I can’t meet it.

    • The other thing you learn, though, is that if people are *really* your friends, they will still be there when you get back. And vice versa.

      I absolutely agree with this, too. My best friend has been such since we were in sixth grade. Which means that we managed to maintain that friendship for the four years I was in Maryland, moving to New Orleans (and her following), and me moving up to Indiana. We’re both busy, and sometimes don’t speak for months. But at the same time, when we do see one another– it really is like no time has passed. I find this with many of my friends from New Orleans, even though I may not see them for too long.

  6. Used to be. I’ve gotten a LOT better in recent times, despite not quitting moving. I’m still in no way bothered by people who run it as I always have and disappear for a while now and again, though.

  7. Huh… well, I suppose this brings up the whole issue of what keeping in touch is.

    I sometimes don’t speak to people I live in the same town with for a good while, so geographic distances do not influence these patterns with me much. That being said, with people who I’m tight with. Even if we haven’t spoken in years, we pick up like it was yesterday.

    So, though I did move around a lot as a kid, I don’t have a prob keeping in touch.

    Unless you mean bad touch, in which case, yes… sometimes I have a hard time…


  8. j00 r wr0ng!

    I’ve moved about 21 times since the age of 7. No lie… I can’t fib if I tried. Because of the constant moving around, I don’t have any deep friendships with folks. To be honest, I don’t know how. There was no point in developing anything as I knew I wouldn’t be living in the area long. But I digress… I may not hang out with acquaintances often, but I keep touch well. I contact you nearly every day, don’t I?

  9. I lived all over the east growing up and had divorced parants so even then I rarly was anywhere long enough to make long lasting friends. 5 peopel I have known for over a decade I stay in touch with. The rest I make an honest effort but I move oftenand they move a few times sometimes you lose touch. As we speak I know everything and everything about someone from va I dont really like and cant find someone from va I do really like. Its furstrating.

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