I’ve been trying for awhile to make a connection between anger and passion. I had an amazing conversation with a woman in a restroom once about how passionate, healthy people end up with raging bombs of anger. And I think it’s because we don’t think being passionate is necessarily constructive. You’re allowed to be an artist who forgets to shower, a student who fails to sleep, a manager who misses too many meals. You’re allowed to be brilliant but drink a lot, do questionable drugs, participate in crazy sex rituals. But when you’re intelligent and organized and friendly, people are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. (I’d like to sidebar to Libby for a moment in thanks that when I moved out here, she suggested I go on a self-constructive binge rather than a destructive one).
See? This is how this goes every time I’ve tried to post about this. I start off on a good idea and then go into legitimizing that it’s possible to be healthy and passionate. So that was the point of that paragraph.
So say you’re one of those rad people who actually does things and looks out for other people and all that. Why would you go for an unhealthy relationship, or better yet – why would you stay in one? I’ve done it, too, so don’t be scared to speak up. And I don’t just mean Upper Case R Relationships, I also mean lower case r relationships.
I think it’s this: we seek out other passionate people. And anger is seen as a manifestation of that passion. (I do have friends who are legitimately angry at Bad People and who act upon it. I’m not saying anger in general is not ok, nor an unreasonable response at times.)
This isn’t well formed, but I wanted to get it out there. Because I’m having trouble doing an outline of this thought.