Seattle was amazing. It always is.
Had a lovely flight with Red, napped, read more of House of Leaves, settled more into the idea that things are about to really change.
Chris met with Nathan at the airport (while joining us on the trip, he did fly separately), and we all fit our luggage into Nathan’s new car. Met with Seamus at the peroski place on Broadway, had some amazing borscht and dumpling things. Seamus and Anita cooked us dinner, we saw Anita’s dress (gorgeous), and just sat around to talk. Friday hoofed around to locate a job (swanky places with people that love me already, I think my luck may hold out), lunched with Nathan’s mom, Nathan, Libby, Chris, and Annie. Went shopping, bought a hat, had martinis and saw Stolen Babies. Met all sorts of people, danced, drank, talked. Saturday was supposed to have a shoot, but Quais and I weren’t feeling it, and Libby’s time was short anyway. Had a laid back day with Seamus, planned and cooked an extravagant dinner, skipped the club to go to Bauhaus instead for a more laid back time. Sunday set up a wine tasting, went shopping for presents, and had game night. Game night is always best ever. Again with meeting more people, wine, laughing, comfort.
I’m not sure how comfortable I am with letting go right now. I have
some of the best friends I’ve ever had here right now. The people around me inspire me to be stronger, more self-assured, and to quest for knowledge.
Don’t get me wrong, I know Seattle will be great for me, and me for it. But I see how much just visiting changes me every time, and that’s scary.
Honestly, I’m uncertain of a lot of things right now. I don’t think I treat the people I care about most with the respect they deserve. That’s at the forefront. I worry that I’m pushing those closest to me away by not spending enough time with them. I don’t know how to handle a move that I see as so possibly permanent. Sure, there are great people everywhere, but they aren’t these people.
So I’m doing the best I can, which is all I can ever really do, I guess.