Every time I see Corey in a club he loses a bit more lore power.
Visiting clubs across the country on my road trip made it very apparent what sort of archetypes there are (especially? even?) in the subculture I participate in. I saw a lot of my friends a few times over, and I even spotted myself in a few. Communities request that certain roles be filled and often people are happy to oblige. Even the guy that doesn’t want to give in to the fashion and is just there for the music is an archetype. And Corey is definitely an archetype as well. Which means I see him on the occasions I go to the club. It’s the same scrawny white boy with black or white hair with a long loose hawk or angry chicken, goggles, stompy boots with the pants tucked in, dancing the Rivet dance.
And every time I see someone like this, I try to talk to them. Because it’s better to interact with the things you give power than to avoid them. Then the power you give it is also yours, it’s the difference between a tool and a trap, to paraphrase Mr Gaiman. And I say lore power because the people you’re truly close to weave their world views and beliefs in with yours like a fabric, and you can’t always tell what was there before and what wasn’t. I forget sometimes how much he impacted me, in all sorts of ways that built me up and tore me down.
I’ve been spending a fair amount of time on my own, working on things that are important to me. I’m trying to figure out the difference between being alone and being lonely. I’ve been practicing Parkour on my own which is really a comment on my vanity and perfectionism. Running at the gym with headphones in. Reading for hours on end in my apartment. I’m covered in bruises from landing against walls and rolling off embankments. My heels, toes, and hands are spotted with blisters and callouses. I’m learning to spend more time with fewer people, which honestly makes me feel boring at times. I’m so good at making friends I forget how to make friendships deeper. I’ve been thinking about how I interact with people, the way I help decide the flow of conversation, etc.
I’ve finally figured out how to challenge my passion by my own desires. But a lot of the time my own potential scares me.
I’ve also been dealing with a lot of insomnia. I think I’ve managed about three hours a night over the past week. So that’s a funky head space. Actually I feel surprisingly good compared to past bouts. So if you find yourself in the Seattle area and awake at 3a, we can play with toys or read comic books or something. I make a mean pot of tea, too.