I went to my first-ever meditation retreat yesterday, at Spirit Rock. The theme was “Freedom Within Reach” and it was from 10a-5p.
Some facilitation thoughts
I really enjoyed how much silence and calm were celebrated in this space. No one was expecting anyone to move quickly. I wonder how to create similar spaces in facilitation that encourage deliberation rather than rapid fire responses.
Some of our breaks were encouraged to be in silence. I also really liked that.
I’d be really interested to see more overlap of sessions like these with the Quaker approach of encouraging folks to speak if moved by the spirit. Only having one or two people taking up (nearly all) the verbal space allotted will forever rankle me.
Some discomfort thoughts
I have an internal timer that’s about an hour long. After that hour is up, I generally think I’ve gotten whatever I’m going to get out of an interaction and that it’s time to move on. It’s weird, because I’m ok with boredom and I’m actually quite patient, but I also just nope out after an hour. So a 7-hour retreat was asking a lot, even if it was a cycle through Cara and Matthew in discussion, seated meditation, walking meditation, snack. But because part of meditation is examining discomfort, I made it through two rounds of discomfort (all the way to 3:30p!) before being like “I’ve done my work for the day, I’m going home for a hot bath.” I celebrate that I journaled about those discomfort points, and found more things to learn and benefit from after each point had been processed through.
Also nothing like a “quiet” room to bring out my hyper vigilance and desire for control. So much breathing! People stacking their stuff in messy ways! How dare. Pat pat, brain, if that’s what you want to do right now.
Some freedom thoughts
Cara’s premise for the retreat was “maybe it’s not drudgery to get to enlightenment. Maybe it’s just a thing that we can achieve with relative ease,” to counteract all the instruction she’d been getting over the years about putting in the work, and seeing enlightenment as being able to be “done” with that work.
It reminds me a fair amount of the “behave as if you are already free” that we have in political organizing. If you listen to the oppressors, you will oppress yourself. “My people, let pharaoh go” as Saul Williams says.
I did really like the idea of enlightenment/freedom not being free of problems, but being free of friction with your problems. That the effort is about letting go, not about enduring. And that “the door to freedom isn’t always marked ‘freedom'” — it may be grief or another teacher that gets you there.
Some attitude thoughts
Jack Kornfield took a photo of it to Victoria Fahey in Bali where a master artisan created a replica for Spirit Rock. The carving took over a year to complete because the artist wanted to work from a single piece of wood to represent wholeness.
The figure is seated on an outcropping of rock in the traditional posture of royal ease. She is both relaxed and yet ready to respond to all in need. Quan-Yin means “She Who Hears the Cries of the World” and her compassion embodies both male and female characteristics.
One thing I especially appreciated about this crew was the attitude. People were confident in what they know, but open to knowing more. There was this assumption of having thought deeply before talking or sharing, and that what was being shared was worthwhile.
The alt text on this image is a copy of the text next to the statue, and is worth reading. I love the regal pose as a way of indicating help can and will be freely given. Too often, we see confidence as an assumption of perfection. When to me, it is about coming from a position of strength. That doesn’t indicate (to me) that no further learning or strength can be gained.
Some closing thoughts
I’d definitely like to try this sort of thing again, although I’m nervous to do multiple days. It might help me focus and stay present if I knew I was supposed to be there for a prolonged period of time. Being uncomfortable brought some valuable lessons with it, but I also don’t think we need suffering in order to thrive in life.