There’s this woman an ex partner left me for. I had moved to the Bay Area in part based on this relationship, but in 2016 my job fell apart, which led to a conversation about how serious the relationship was, and the answer was that it shouldn’t exist. While he and I are back on speaking terms, the gent was essentially doing serial monogamy under the label of relationship anarchy, and it was a mess. Morgan and I, however, continue to get on quite well. I even signed as witness on her recent wedding to an incredible human named Jeff. Morgan and Jeff were going to Japan this year, and invited us to go family traveling with them. The exchange rate is amazing right now, so we jumped at the chance.

Japan was such a lovely place to bring a kid. While they have a history of doing a better job of helping their kids be appropriate in various social settings, the experience was universally accommodating for our kiddo, too. Our travel companions weren’t comfortable breast feeding in public, and we didn’t see a lot of infants out, but children are generally given a lot of independence counterbalanced with high expectations and guidance. Being there really bolstered Locke’s confidence and curiosity.

Flying internationally with a 4yo

Locke did a pretty fabulous job with this. We brought coloring books, hunt-and-find books, and an iPad pre loaded with approved media (Blues Clues, Bluey, Camp Snoopy, Daniel Tiger, and Thomas the Train) He didn’t sleep at all from SFO to HND, until crashing HARD and thoroughly on the flight from Tokyo to Sapporo, in the airport while we waited for bags, on the train, in the car, and then at the AirBNB.

On the way home, we used a tiny amount of melatonin to help him sleep at the right time instead, to ease his jet lag when back, as well as alleviating the flight. There’s a recent review from Emily Oster about how small amounts of melatonin for your kid every once in awhile is probably ok. We also had THE BEST luck on the way back with an empty seat next to him so he could fully stretch out.

Japan Airlines is wonderful with kiddos, letting you get some extra time to get them set up. They also have some great kids activities, and offer kid-centric meals if you opt into them. Truly a treat to fly with them for this trip.

Sapporo

We spent our first week in sleepy Sapporo, and it was dreamy. We found an old kid’s bike at the nearby Second Street on our first day for like $20, paid another $10 to have it fixed up at a local bike shop, and Reed and Locke rode around a bunch while I did some work. I know now that I didn’t need to actually work that week, but I’m still becoming accustomed to working somewhere with healthier balance, and so I didn’t quite trust it yet. We were even able to pass the bike onto the next batch of friends coming in with their kids!

We were super close to a lovely park with lots of good wandering, a good playground, and other magical times. One day Locke and I went, we watched a dad and son playing soccer, and they came and asked Locke to play!

Most magical thing was a person who built a giant teddy bear out of tree detritus.

We also went to Hill of the Buddha, Sapporo Art Park, and Moerenuma Park. All were great ways to spend time with kiddos, with lots of space to run around and art that assumes climbing on. Locke rolled all the way down a MASSIVE hill, encouraged by Jeff.

We also ate a tremendous amount of very good food. Toriton was our absolute favorite — we ate there three times in 5 days, twice for lunch and once for dinner. Dinner was more expensive but less wait time. And it’s SO MUCH FUN to have a kid who will look at something and say, “I don’t know what that is, may I have one please?” Inari is his favorite, and we loved “robot sushi” where the conveyor belt brings the sushi directly to your place.

Tokyo

We then took the slow train to Hakodate, and the Shinkansen to Tokyo. Locke had the deeply Japanese experience of falling asleep on the person next to him on the train. Kids his age don’t technically need a ticket, but if there aren’t spare seats, they’ll end up in your lap or in the aisle. I fell in love with red bean and whipped cream konbini snacks from Family Mart. As Nicole posted in response to finding “my thing” there:

We had build-your-own sushi lunch through Global Family to Family with family with a kiddo Locke’s age, who also loves pink, LEGO, and Paw Patrol. SUCH wonderful conversation amongst adults, and the kiddos got on super well.

We went to Team Lab Planets! Locke had a wonderful time! We went to Kidzania and Locke got really excited and then overwhelmed and noped out! We walked like 9 miles a day with lots of piggy back rides, and drank lots of drinks out of vending machines, and Locke used his “found” yen to buy Reed Locke’s favorite drink to share. We had lots of “messy baths” (tub and shower rooms are just the whole room, and so we told Locke he could fling water around as much as he wanted which he LOVED).

And I found child care via a good friend who goes to Tokyo often so Reed and I could have dinner at Moon Flower (they could have phoned in the food but didn’t, the time was good enough but kind of ruined by a server who kept explaining the art instead of just letting us experience it) one evening and so we could spend a different day shopping. Reed found a spot that specializes in handkerchiefs! I got to check out Issey Miyake APOC! Cat Alley has gotten WAY too American-chain-store to be much fun anymore, but there was a little shop called Clique Tokyo that was totally my jam.

When/if we go back

Having the chill time outside Tokyo was lovely, but I think I’d want to do that as the second part instead of the first part. Having bikes to ride around was lovely. I’d pack more full suits and leave more space in my suitcase for bringing back clothing and snacks. I think we want to go to the Miyazaki theme park, and try out Kyoto although Sapporo was absolutely lovely. 2 weeks seemed like the right amount of time. I did mess up some travel things because of the international date line.