Tag Archives: substances

Coming from a family of alcoholics (4 months in)

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This is the second of three checkins during 6 months of not drinking. The first was written 2 months in, this is being written 4 months in.

Things that have changed since last checkin

I’m pretty happy just not drinking. Sure, there are times and days that it would be really nice to crack open a cold cider, but I’m actually doing pretty well not drinking. The bees mentioned in the first post have subsided in most cases, and been dealt with in other ways for the other times. It’s nice.

Mother in law found a great NA wine that doesn’t just taste like fruit juice. It’s still not good wine, but it is tolerable for a mild wine snob to have a treat.

The data

Overall, I’m getting more of what I want out of not drinking. While this data is skewed because I knew I wasn’t getting everything I wanted out of my relationship to alcohol before this experiment, it’s still wild to see the move from 15 to 40% in a positive experience, and to even see a “strongly positive” experience show up a few times.

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Coming from a family of alcoholics (2 months in)

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I am full of bees, and have long been as productive and engaged as I am in order to help quell those bees. Over the years, I’ve tried having nonproductive hobbies, meditation, medication, and all sorts of other things to quell the bees.

Reed and I had a conversation in October of 2025 about my drinking. I had gotten it to what I thought was a good homeostasis — 1-3 ciders 5x/week or so. Not more than most Europeans drink. But Reed was still interested in if I was getting what I wanted out of it for three reasons, which I reflect on below during my period of not drinking (for however long that is). I have decided to start with 6 months off, at which point we’ll check back in on if we’re getting what we want out of it. I’ve decided to blog about it at the 2, 4, and 6 month markers at least.

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Dimming my own light

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I’ve always enjoyed being under the influence. Whether alcohol or more illicit things, I usually have a good time, even when the times aren’t particularly good.

This is absolutely not a “drugs are bad” post. I still enjoy drugs (including alcohol), in the right context. More research is being done on the usefulness of drugs ranging from run-of-the-mill THC to ketamine to hallucinogens. No, this post is about why I used a specific drug to dim my own light (by which I mean “exercising my mind and expecting great things from other people exercising theirs”), where it got me to, and where I’m at now.

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