prepositions and the back of my hand

You know when you spoon with a good friend or lover (or both), and you fall into a solid sleep? Not the hard sleep of exhaustion or the flighty sleep of anxiety, but the solid sleep that brings the most lucid of dreams and the freshest mornings? Your breathing matches, and no matter how one of you shifts, the other matches without waking, nestling into the hollows of bodies, unconsciously kissing the back of a neck, humming briefly to match frequencies. Your hair tangles with theirs, your dreams sometimes brush each other, and you know where to rest an arm so as not to harm them, not to wake them. Limbs wrapped around limbs, a complicated knot of comfort.

That is how I feel in this city. Walking the veins of streets, noting the celled bricks, exhaling with the wind. I blend with shadows, stepping with the city’s heartbeat, the BPM leaking out of clubs, the rise and fall of stories told on streets.

Being a child and swinging on your Dad. He grips your wrists and swings you up, you walk on his back, do flips into pools, never doubting his ability to keep you safe, to be prepared for a jump onto his back for a piggy-back ride.

That is how I feel in this city when I do Parkour. I am in and of and by this city. Prepositions explain relationships between two things, but how much love can you fit into two or three letters? Between? Within? Language – written or spoken is just lines and sounds shaped, trying to approximate life. Words poking holes in a curtain to let in points of light. Other cheesy metaphors that are as close as we can get to sharing an unsharable experience. Is my sky-blue your sky-blue? Do my synapses fire the same as yours?

This is me, just Being. This is me, Happy and Whole.

17 thoughts on “prepositions and the back of my hand

  1. Yeah, but it’s only a matter of time before your loving sleep partner tries to Dutch Oven you!

    That’s just me being pessimistic. You keep rockin’ your world, girl!

  2. your description of two lovers/friends is outstanding. very well put. absolutely on point.

    actually, your writing style(?) in this entry is amazing and makes me smile.

  3. It’s funny because I’m similar. USUALLY whenever I’ve traveled & stayed in a hotel room by myself, I have the lights on & tv on while I sleep cause I’m a big scaredy cat! But when I came here for the 1st time to interview….I went to sleep that night easy peasy in the dark, no lights, no tv…and slept right through, and that’s when I had an INTERVIEW…so you should be nervous, but I was fine. And in the morning I woke up & there was a feather on the floor by my bed…and I took that as some type of sign that I was “home”. Whenever I see a feather when I’m walking it makes me think “I’m on the right path”. 🙂

  4. woot!

    you don’t know this about me, but if my shoulder hadn’t been permanently damaged I would be so interested in parkour. One of my ex boyfriends was into it and he got me really excited to someday do it, but I’m afraid every time I try to do some my neck muscles hate me for a week. Grrr.

    I am jealous of your joy, and yet do not wish to rob you of any of it!

    I do know what you mean about this city, though. It does feel good, doesn’t it?

      • I’m not sure how to interpret that comment at all!

        but thank you for the lovely brain pretzels, they were most awesomely salty and crunchety 😀

        • My mistake, in my brain, I moved the your placement of the word yet. I was entertained by the idea of you sending out a device that would siphon off her joy (not completely though, the woman is a virtually inexhaustible bundle of it.)

          I hope that is a lovely scoop of brain chocolate to accompany your pretzels.


  5. Seattle sounds like a tasty icecream on a hot summer day.

    Or maybe more like a moist towlett in the middle of the desert.

    Wait, I can top that… its like an awesome blowjob with smiles and eyecontact. 🙂

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